Well its has been a few months since I've written an update. It partly had to do with the fact that I have been trying to keep things private and it also had to do with the fact I forgot what Preston's password was on here. Honestly there really hasn't been anything worth blogging about.
I have completed 3 iui cycles which have not been successful at all. I was going to do a 4th cycle but my left ovary was loaded with cysts and I was put back onto birth control to help shrink them. On the visit I found out about the cysts it started off on a weird note. I was simply going in for a baseline scan to get approved to take my meds for the 4th cycle. Since it was a simple scan I told Preston he didn't have to go. I was greeted by the receptionist who I'm fairly certain things I am crazy with a "our policy has changed for scans and you will need to pay $100 upfront. Will this be a problem?" I am dumbfounded that such a policy wasn't mailed to me or I wasn't given a phone call to let me know before I came in. So I pull out my credit card to find out they only take cash or checks. Really?!?! Who carries $100 in cash around with them? Clearly not this girl! So I just had a gut feeling that this visit wasn't going to go well. Sure enough our favorite nurse was not working that day and it was the nurse who has no bedside manner. Long story short after finding out about the massive amount of cysts and having to go back on BC I ask why nothing is working for me. She looks at my chart and looks blankly back at me and tells me that I should be pregnant by now. Cue the water works from me. With no emotion hands me a tissue.
A few weeks later we met with doctor Swanson to go over everything since January. He agrees that I should be pregnant by now also. We find out that he will be referring us out to an ivf fertility specialist and good friend of his. He also orders a blood test to check my thyroid and my prolactin levels. Both of those tests came back normal.
We both have came to the agreement that we should consider adoption. Well to adopt a infant from a non profit agency out in California starts off at $25,000. For those of you who have seen the movie Juno I call bullshit because there is not such a thing of some teen who can't take care of her infant and just wants to give her baby up to a loving couple for free. So adoption is out of the question. We started working with the county but you have to foster to adopt. Which means you will get a poor baby who is drug exposed and hope that the family doesn't get their stuff in order so you can have a chance to adopt their baby.
Today we went to our 1st ivf appointment in Clovis. The facility was beautiful and the staff were very kind. Right off the bat I knew we were in trouble because they did not accept our insurance. I knew TriCare didn't cover ivf treatments but I didn't know they won't even cover office visits. Just for our consult today it was $130 and if we do ivf I will have to be seen any where from 5-7 times a month. Our new doctor was kind and spoke to us about what further testing he wants us to get done and how ivf works. I need to get another blood test done to see if my endometriosis surgries have done any damage to my right ovary. Our doctor seems to be concerned that during the surgeries my right ovary may have had been damaged. The 2nd test I need to get done is yet another hsg test. This will be the 3rd time getting this test done. He wants to make sure my septum healed correctly.
Here is when our day went from being optimistic to feeling defeated. In order to do ivf we will need to have either $15,000 or take out a loan for $15,000. We both know neither of those options will happen. I don't want to be in horrible debt and have a child or twins and not be able to provide for them like we should.
We are both mentally and physically drained from this whole process. It has been 4 yrs ans I feel like we haven't progressed at all. We have been very short with each other today and I had to leave work early because I snapped at a patron and didn't even realize it. My other co manager told me to take it down a notch and at that moment I asked if I could leave early. I know this is a very negative post but its so hard to stay positive anymore. We need something good to happen to us for once! We are constantly fignting this battle and I know it has made us stronger and more educated about infertility but we need a break!
With all that being said we are completely lost and have no idea what direction we will go with. Maybe we will walk away from all of it and learn to be a family of two and love our fur baby even more than we already do.
-
I have completed 3 iui cycles which have not been successful at all. I was going to do a 4th cycle but my left ovary was loaded with cysts and I was put back onto birth control to help shrink them. On the visit I found out about the cysts it started off on a weird note. I was simply going in for a baseline scan to get approved to take my meds for the 4th cycle. Since it was a simple scan I told Preston he didn't have to go. I was greeted by the receptionist who I'm fairly certain things I am crazy with a "our policy has changed for scans and you will need to pay $100 upfront. Will this be a problem?" I am dumbfounded that such a policy wasn't mailed to me or I wasn't given a phone call to let me know before I came in. So I pull out my credit card to find out they only take cash or checks. Really?!?! Who carries $100 in cash around with them? Clearly not this girl! So I just had a gut feeling that this visit wasn't going to go well. Sure enough our favorite nurse was not working that day and it was the nurse who has no bedside manner. Long story short after finding out about the massive amount of cysts and having to go back on BC I ask why nothing is working for me. She looks at my chart and looks blankly back at me and tells me that I should be pregnant by now. Cue the water works from me. With no emotion hands me a tissue.
A few weeks later we met with doctor Swanson to go over everything since January. He agrees that I should be pregnant by now also. We find out that he will be referring us out to an ivf fertility specialist and good friend of his. He also orders a blood test to check my thyroid and my prolactin levels. Both of those tests came back normal.
We both have came to the agreement that we should consider adoption. Well to adopt a infant from a non profit agency out in California starts off at $25,000. For those of you who have seen the movie Juno I call bullshit because there is not such a thing of some teen who can't take care of her infant and just wants to give her baby up to a loving couple for free. So adoption is out of the question. We started working with the county but you have to foster to adopt. Which means you will get a poor baby who is drug exposed and hope that the family doesn't get their stuff in order so you can have a chance to adopt their baby.
Today we went to our 1st ivf appointment in Clovis. The facility was beautiful and the staff were very kind. Right off the bat I knew we were in trouble because they did not accept our insurance. I knew TriCare didn't cover ivf treatments but I didn't know they won't even cover office visits. Just for our consult today it was $130 and if we do ivf I will have to be seen any where from 5-7 times a month. Our new doctor was kind and spoke to us about what further testing he wants us to get done and how ivf works. I need to get another blood test done to see if my endometriosis surgries have done any damage to my right ovary. Our doctor seems to be concerned that during the surgeries my right ovary may have had been damaged. The 2nd test I need to get done is yet another hsg test. This will be the 3rd time getting this test done. He wants to make sure my septum healed correctly.
Here is when our day went from being optimistic to feeling defeated. In order to do ivf we will need to have either $15,000 or take out a loan for $15,000. We both know neither of those options will happen. I don't want to be in horrible debt and have a child or twins and not be able to provide for them like we should.
We are both mentally and physically drained from this whole process. It has been 4 yrs ans I feel like we haven't progressed at all. We have been very short with each other today and I had to leave work early because I snapped at a patron and didn't even realize it. My other co manager told me to take it down a notch and at that moment I asked if I could leave early. I know this is a very negative post but its so hard to stay positive anymore. We need something good to happen to us for once! We are constantly fignting this battle and I know it has made us stronger and more educated about infertility but we need a break!
With all that being said we are completely lost and have no idea what direction we will go with. Maybe we will walk away from all of it and learn to be a family of two and love our fur baby even more than we already do.
-
