Application

Well it's that time again for an update!  Things have been going pretty good for once.  I swear since we have made the decision to do adoption my outlook on life has changed drastically.  Preston just told me on Sunday he has seen a huge change in my mood.  

On Friday Preston and I will be taking the first step towards adoption.  We will be submitting our application to our agency.  We have been saving money each month and we feel we have enough in our savings to start moving forward.  Another reason why we are moving forward is because of Preston's upcoming workups.  Pretty soon he will be leaving for about 6 weeks for a boat det.  After that det he will be home here and there throughout the summer but we want to be able to do our home study and classes we will have to take in order to adopt.  So the application isn't really anything too hard to fill out.  Just basic questions such as our wedding date, where we work, how much we make, if we have any children, divorces, illnesses, and a few more random questions.  We also will have to provide a photo of ourselves for our file and a check for $300 for the application fee. 

Today I spoke to our social worker because even though our application asked simple questions I of course started stressing out about the idea our application getting denied.  I was also kind of worried because we don't have a huge amount in our savings.  Don't get me wrong we have money in there but we couldn't go out and put a big downpayment on a new car with the amount we have.  Of course I was stressing out over nothing.  Our social worker almost laughed when I asked her if we were going to get denied.  She told us as long as we submit everything we will get accepted.  I guess this small step is just a way to show that you are serious about adoption and you are ready to move onto the next step.  She told me amazingly enough there are people who get denied all the time because they don't attach the photo or don't send in the money.  So I immediately felt better about everything and kind of wished I would of called her a day earlier when I was having a meltdown about everything.  

So what is the next step?  Once the main office gets our application and the check clears we will be given a sample of their contract and we will review it and once all questions have been answered and we feel good about it we can sign it and go live in the waiting pool of parents.  Exciting right?!?!  Oh wait Preston and I completely forgot that there was a contract fee of $2,500.  So that's where our Gofundme page comes into play.  We will be closing our page after we get accepted into the agency.  We will be using the funds from that page and what we have in savings to pay for the contract fee.  We will continue to save money in order to pay for our home study which will cost around $2,000.  My goal is to save a good chunk of money while Preston is gone for 6 weeks.  I don't really eat too much when he is gone so my meals will go a long way.  I also don't do anything really exciting when he is gone either so hopefully we will be close to being able to pay for the home study.

Preston and I would like to take the time thank everyone who has donated money to our Gofundme page.  We wouldn't be able to do any of this without ALL of you!  All we have been able to think about for the last 4 1/2 years is to be able to start a family and that dream is starting to come true.  We know we have a really long road ahead of us with loans, trying to apply for grants, and save as much money as we can.  But the thought of finally holding our child motivates us every day.  The other day I sent Preston a text saying I would eat pb&j every day if it means we are able to save up money and have our child and his response was he would do the same but just eat ramen noodles everyday.  

As always I will continue to update you all on everything.  

-Kate

Surprise

As promised here is a rather lengthy update!

In December I wrote to you all about our big move and Preston getting out of the Navy.  Well as you all may know from yesterday's Facebook post Preston reenlisted for 4 more years.  I know crazy considering of our plan to get out and move closer to family and starting our lives over in the civilian world again.  Well one mid January day when I was at work freaking out over our move and no job leads coming Preston's way in walks into the gym Preston's CO.  I have a pretty good relationship with his CO from my involvement with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) so it isn't too unusual that we would chat with one another when we see each other.  He asked how things were going and how he was upset that the command was loosing a great AT (his rate).  I told him how I was freaking out and then at some point blurted out asking him if it was too late for him to stay in.  He asked was Preston having second thoughts and I told him no but I was.  He said he would see what he could do.  Well the following week Preston came home from work and we had that evening to decide if he would stay in the Navy or get out.  There was a 50/50 chance big Navy was going to say nope sorry or yes.  We also faced if big Navy said yes he could go to the needs of the Navy aka we would have to move to a duty station that needed an AT position to fill or he could change commands also.  Everything worked out pretty smoothly.  Big Navy said yes and he was able to stay with his current command for the next year.  After his year contract is up with his current command he will get to choose his shore duty orders and there is a possibility we will move to a new duty station a year from now.

Once Preston got the okay that he would be staying in my first conversation to him was okay we need to do IVF now!  The plan was to save up as much of our moving allowance that the Navy was going to give us from our move so we could have a huge chunk in our savings while we tried to find a new doctor.  Well we never moved so we didn't have that huge chunk of change saved up.  I called my IVF doctors office and told them that we didn't move and we really wanted to do IVF and soon.  So they faxed over to me the dates that they had available for IVF cycles, break down of costs, and how to get financed.  I don't know if we were half listening the 1st time we went to his office and the nurse rattled off all the different procedures and their costs or what but it was huge shock to us that we thought it was $15,000 to do IVF but in all reality it was really $20,000.  After taking a moment to swallow that pill we started crunching the numbers and figured out a way that we could possibly do this.  It would take us 5 years to pay everything off but there was a way.  So we took the 1st step and applied for the medical loan.  The website stated you will find out if you get your loan in 60 seconds!  Well two days later and many phone calls later we found out we were denied the loan.  We felt really down knowing that there was no way we could do this.  After bursting into tears (only me not Preston) knowing this was our last chance at having children and all the excitement building up to this moment.  I really thought in my heart that we were going to do this.  After a few moments of crying I told Preston I am done.  I don't want to do this any more.  We can go to counseling and just live our lives as non-parents.

I walked around like a zombie for a the next few days feeling empty inside.  Until my mom and I had a conversation about everything.  She suggested the idea of adopting a baby.  I told her there is no way we can do that and we have no interest in doing a foster to adopt program because with our luck we would get a baby fall in love with them and 6 months later have to give them back because some family member was able to obtain custody of them.  My mom told me no not adoption through the county but from back home in Ohio.  She suggested to talk to a lawyer friend of theirs to see if she could point us in the right direction.  So I spoke to Preston about the idea of adopting a baby from back home and he was on board with me.  My dad gave me the number for the lawyer and I didn't waste a moment and called her right away.  Of course it was on a Friday afternoon when I did this so I had to wait a very long weekend to hear back from her.  Turns out she doesn't do anything close to adoptions and had no idea how to help us in that department.  I was not thrown off by this at all.  I was a woman on a mission.  The next phone call I made was to Preston's sister who is a social worker back in Ohio.  She was able to point me in the right direction of what to look for and what look out for in terms of agencies.  She herself had very little knowledge of what place to start looking at.  She is more familiar with the foster to adopt program.

Over the next week I researched top ranked adoption agencies and read through all their pages and different links that they provided.  Some of them I really liked and there were a few that I just did get a good feeling about.  The ones that  I got a good feeling about I requested information back from them and then Preston and I would review what they sent to us.  After many phone calls with our social worker and even a webinar we have chosen our agency.  Due to privacy reasons we will not be revealing what agency we are using.

So our big announcement is WE ARE ADOPTING!!!!!!

We both feel very good about this decision.  For me I feel as if a weight has be lifted off of me and my mood has changed drastically.  I haven't been this happy in a long time.  I finally feel as if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We talk about our future child all the time and we just can't wait to meet them.  I have no doubt in my mind and heart that moment we meet our child we will instantly fall in love him or her.

A huge misconception about adoption is the price.  Many people think that it costs only few thousand as in maybe the $6,000 range.  NOPE  We thought it would be in the $20,000 range but NOPE!  Adoptions start off at around $30,000 to $50,000.  So we have been strapping down and saving as much money as we can each month.  The application fee is $300 just to get accepted to our agency.  Then the next step is a home study which is in the $2,000 price range.  Once our home study is done  we can start applying for grants but most of the grants have to be submitted once a quarter.  Luckily our agency has a finance person who is top rated in the adoption world with helping out in writing grants and helping you budget for everything.

I could go on longer with this update but it is getting rather lengthy now!  I will continue with small updates with the process.  As of right now we have not started anything yet.  We are putting some more money aside each paycheck in order to get the ball rolling.  But like always we are on a small window of opportunity.  Preston's command is in the middle of workups and we are trying to get this home study done asap so I can do the rest without needing him for interviews or other super important things that we cannot do unless we are both there.

-Kate