As promised here is a rather lengthy update!
In December I wrote to you all about our big move and Preston getting out of the Navy. Well as you all may know from yesterday's Facebook post Preston reenlisted for 4 more years. I know crazy considering of our plan to get out and move closer to family and starting our lives over in the civilian world again. Well one mid January day when I was at work freaking out over our move and no job leads coming Preston's way in walks into the gym Preston's CO. I have a pretty good relationship with his CO from my involvement with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) so it isn't too unusual that we would chat with one another when we see each other. He asked how things were going and how he was upset that the command was loosing a great AT (his rate). I told him how I was freaking out and then at some point blurted out asking him if it was too late for him to stay in. He asked was Preston having second thoughts and I told him no but I was. He said he would see what he could do. Well the following week Preston came home from work and we had that evening to decide if he would stay in the Navy or get out. There was a 50/50 chance big Navy was going to say nope sorry or yes. We also faced if big Navy said yes he could go to the needs of the Navy aka we would have to move to a duty station that needed an AT position to fill or he could change commands also. Everything worked out pretty smoothly. Big Navy said yes and he was able to stay with his current command for the next year. After his year contract is up with his current command he will get to choose his shore duty orders and there is a possibility we will move to a new duty station a year from now.
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Once Preston got the okay that he would be staying in my first conversation to him was okay we need to do IVF now! The plan was to save up as much of our moving allowance that the Navy was going to give us from our move so we could have a huge chunk in our savings while we tried to find a new doctor. Well we never moved so we didn't have that huge chunk of change saved up. I called my IVF doctors office and told them that we didn't move and we really wanted to do IVF and soon. So they faxed over to me the dates that they had available for IVF cycles, break down of costs, and how to get financed. I don't know if we were half listening the 1st time we went to his office and the nurse rattled off all the different procedures and their costs or what but it was huge shock to us that we thought it was $15,000 to do IVF but in all reality it was really $20,000. After taking a moment to swallow that pill we started crunching the numbers and figured out a way that we could possibly do this. It would take us 5 years to pay everything off but there was a way. So we took the 1st step and applied for the medical loan. The website stated you will find out if you get your loan in 60 seconds! Well two days later and many phone calls later we found out we were denied the loan. We felt really down knowing that there was no way we could do this. After bursting into tears (only me not Preston) knowing this was our last chance at having children and all the excitement building up to this moment. I really thought in my heart that we were going to do this. After a few moments of crying I told Preston I am done. I don't want to do this any more. We can go to counseling and just live our lives as non-parents.
I walked around like a zombie for a the next few days feeling empty inside. Until my mom and I had a conversation about everything. She suggested the idea of adopting a baby. I told her there is no way we can do that and we have no interest in doing a foster to adopt program because with our luck we would get a baby fall in love with them and 6 months later have to give them back because some family member was able to obtain custody of them. My mom told me no not adoption through the county but from back home in Ohio. She suggested to talk to a lawyer friend of theirs to see if she could point us in the right direction. So I spoke to Preston about the idea of adopting a baby from back home and he was on board with me. My dad gave me the number for the lawyer and I didn't waste a moment and called her right away. Of course it was on a Friday afternoon when I did this so I had to wait a very long weekend to hear back from her. Turns out she doesn't do anything close to adoptions and had no idea how to help us in that department. I was not thrown off by this at all. I was a woman on a mission. The next phone call I made was to Preston's sister who is a social worker back in Ohio. She was able to point me in the right direction of what to look for and what look out for in terms of agencies. She herself had very little knowledge of what place to start looking at. She is more familiar with the foster to adopt program.
Over the next week I researched top ranked adoption agencies and read through all their pages and different links that they provided. Some of them I really liked and there were a few that I just did get a good feeling about. The ones that I got a good feeling about I requested information back from them and then Preston and I would review what they sent to us. After many phone calls with our social worker and even a webinar we have chosen our agency. Due to privacy reasons we will not be revealing what agency we are using.
So our big announcement is WE ARE ADOPTING!!!!!!
We both feel very good about this decision. For me I feel as if a weight has be lifted off of me and my mood has changed drastically. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I finally feel as if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We talk about our future child all the time and we just can't wait to meet them. I have no doubt in my mind and heart that moment we meet our child we will instantly fall in love him or her.
A huge misconception about adoption is the price. Many people think that it costs only few thousand as in maybe the $6,000 range. NOPE We thought it would be in the $20,000 range but NOPE! Adoptions start off at around $30,000 to $50,000. So we have been strapping down and saving as much money as we can each month. The application fee is $300 just to get accepted to our agency. Then the next step is a home study which is in the $2,000 price range. Once our home study is done we can start applying for grants but most of the grants have to be submitted once a quarter. Luckily our agency has a finance person who is top rated in the adoption world with helping out in writing grants and helping you budget for everything.
I could go on longer with this update but it is getting rather lengthy now! I will continue with small updates with the process. As of right now we have not started anything yet. We are putting some more money aside each paycheck in order to get the ball rolling. But like always we are on a small window of opportunity. Preston's command is in the middle of workups and we are trying to get this home study done asap so I can do the rest without needing him for interviews or other super important things that we cannot do unless we are both there.
-Kate
In December I wrote to you all about our big move and Preston getting out of the Navy. Well as you all may know from yesterday's Facebook post Preston reenlisted for 4 more years. I know crazy considering of our plan to get out and move closer to family and starting our lives over in the civilian world again. Well one mid January day when I was at work freaking out over our move and no job leads coming Preston's way in walks into the gym Preston's CO. I have a pretty good relationship with his CO from my involvement with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) so it isn't too unusual that we would chat with one another when we see each other. He asked how things were going and how he was upset that the command was loosing a great AT (his rate). I told him how I was freaking out and then at some point blurted out asking him if it was too late for him to stay in. He asked was Preston having second thoughts and I told him no but I was. He said he would see what he could do. Well the following week Preston came home from work and we had that evening to decide if he would stay in the Navy or get out. There was a 50/50 chance big Navy was going to say nope sorry or yes. We also faced if big Navy said yes he could go to the needs of the Navy aka we would have to move to a duty station that needed an AT position to fill or he could change commands also. Everything worked out pretty smoothly. Big Navy said yes and he was able to stay with his current command for the next year. After his year contract is up with his current command he will get to choose his shore duty orders and there is a possibility we will move to a new duty station a year from now.
Once Preston got the okay that he would be staying in my first conversation to him was okay we need to do IVF now! The plan was to save up as much of our moving allowance that the Navy was going to give us from our move so we could have a huge chunk in our savings while we tried to find a new doctor. Well we never moved so we didn't have that huge chunk of change saved up. I called my IVF doctors office and told them that we didn't move and we really wanted to do IVF and soon. So they faxed over to me the dates that they had available for IVF cycles, break down of costs, and how to get financed. I don't know if we were half listening the 1st time we went to his office and the nurse rattled off all the different procedures and their costs or what but it was huge shock to us that we thought it was $15,000 to do IVF but in all reality it was really $20,000. After taking a moment to swallow that pill we started crunching the numbers and figured out a way that we could possibly do this. It would take us 5 years to pay everything off but there was a way. So we took the 1st step and applied for the medical loan. The website stated you will find out if you get your loan in 60 seconds! Well two days later and many phone calls later we found out we were denied the loan. We felt really down knowing that there was no way we could do this. After bursting into tears (only me not Preston) knowing this was our last chance at having children and all the excitement building up to this moment. I really thought in my heart that we were going to do this. After a few moments of crying I told Preston I am done. I don't want to do this any more. We can go to counseling and just live our lives as non-parents.
I walked around like a zombie for a the next few days feeling empty inside. Until my mom and I had a conversation about everything. She suggested the idea of adopting a baby. I told her there is no way we can do that and we have no interest in doing a foster to adopt program because with our luck we would get a baby fall in love with them and 6 months later have to give them back because some family member was able to obtain custody of them. My mom told me no not adoption through the county but from back home in Ohio. She suggested to talk to a lawyer friend of theirs to see if she could point us in the right direction. So I spoke to Preston about the idea of adopting a baby from back home and he was on board with me. My dad gave me the number for the lawyer and I didn't waste a moment and called her right away. Of course it was on a Friday afternoon when I did this so I had to wait a very long weekend to hear back from her. Turns out she doesn't do anything close to adoptions and had no idea how to help us in that department. I was not thrown off by this at all. I was a woman on a mission. The next phone call I made was to Preston's sister who is a social worker back in Ohio. She was able to point me in the right direction of what to look for and what look out for in terms of agencies. She herself had very little knowledge of what place to start looking at. She is more familiar with the foster to adopt program.
Over the next week I researched top ranked adoption agencies and read through all their pages and different links that they provided. Some of them I really liked and there were a few that I just did get a good feeling about. The ones that I got a good feeling about I requested information back from them and then Preston and I would review what they sent to us. After many phone calls with our social worker and even a webinar we have chosen our agency. Due to privacy reasons we will not be revealing what agency we are using.
So our big announcement is WE ARE ADOPTING!!!!!!
We both feel very good about this decision. For me I feel as if a weight has be lifted off of me and my mood has changed drastically. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I finally feel as if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We talk about our future child all the time and we just can't wait to meet them. I have no doubt in my mind and heart that moment we meet our child we will instantly fall in love him or her.
A huge misconception about adoption is the price. Many people think that it costs only few thousand as in maybe the $6,000 range. NOPE We thought it would be in the $20,000 range but NOPE! Adoptions start off at around $30,000 to $50,000. So we have been strapping down and saving as much money as we can each month. The application fee is $300 just to get accepted to our agency. Then the next step is a home study which is in the $2,000 price range. Once our home study is done we can start applying for grants but most of the grants have to be submitted once a quarter. Luckily our agency has a finance person who is top rated in the adoption world with helping out in writing grants and helping you budget for everything.
I could go on longer with this update but it is getting rather lengthy now! I will continue with small updates with the process. As of right now we have not started anything yet. We are putting some more money aside each paycheck in order to get the ball rolling. But like always we are on a small window of opportunity. Preston's command is in the middle of workups and we are trying to get this home study done asap so I can do the rest without needing him for interviews or other super important things that we cannot do unless we are both there.
-Kate
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