It's been awhile since I've last written on here. For a while there wasn't anything to write about because Preston was on the boat and I couldn't do much without him physically being here. But now there is literally nothing to write about. We are currently at a dead end.
Before I get into that I am proud to say that my Thirty-One party/ fundraiser went pretty darn well. We were able raise around $500 which is beyond amazing! We are very blessed to have some pretty awesome family, friends, and to be honest people who didn't even know us participate.
Once Preston came home in May we dove head first into our paperwork. We had our wills drawn up. Asked friends and co-workers to write letters of recommendation. Gathered more documents about ourselves for our files. And lastly we set up our future child's room. I was kind of hesitant about setting up the room because I felt like it was bad luck to do this before we were even matched. But we have read that it helps when the social worker comes to visit for the home study.
Speaking of home study our goal was to have $3000 saved up by July so we could start our home study and get the ball rolling with getting matched. Well about two weeks ago I received a call from our agency and they wanted to see how we were doing. Turns out I was speaking with our placement worker. So after chatting with her about our concerns about us moving next winter she suggested we wait till we pick orders and know where we will be going before we move forward with a home study. For those of you who don't know a home study is only valid in the current household you are living in. So every time we move we would need a new one before our child is in our custody. Well it's not like $100 here and there for a home study. In our county it is $3000. Clearly wasting that money if we were to move before we had custody of our child is not fiscally smart.
Therefore as I stated earlier we are at a dead end until we move next year. Obviously that gives a lot more time to save up money and a smaller loan being taken out. But it's the excruciating pain of another year without a child in our lives. It's hard enough that we have given up the dream of our biological child but to have stomach another year without this child who has been my drive the last five months is just beyond depressing. It never gets easier every time we hit a "bump in the road". I question myself all the time about are we really supposed to be parents. I feel like this is the universes way of saying "hello take a hint already"!
So for now we will continue to save our money and I will keep our baby`s room door closed. I need something to distract me until February.
-Kate
Before I get into that I am proud to say that my Thirty-One party/ fundraiser went pretty darn well. We were able raise around $500 which is beyond amazing! We are very blessed to have some pretty awesome family, friends, and to be honest people who didn't even know us participate.
Once Preston came home in May we dove head first into our paperwork. We had our wills drawn up. Asked friends and co-workers to write letters of recommendation. Gathered more documents about ourselves for our files. And lastly we set up our future child's room. I was kind of hesitant about setting up the room because I felt like it was bad luck to do this before we were even matched. But we have read that it helps when the social worker comes to visit for the home study.
Speaking of home study our goal was to have $3000 saved up by July so we could start our home study and get the ball rolling with getting matched. Well about two weeks ago I received a call from our agency and they wanted to see how we were doing. Turns out I was speaking with our placement worker. So after chatting with her about our concerns about us moving next winter she suggested we wait till we pick orders and know where we will be going before we move forward with a home study. For those of you who don't know a home study is only valid in the current household you are living in. So every time we move we would need a new one before our child is in our custody. Well it's not like $100 here and there for a home study. In our county it is $3000. Clearly wasting that money if we were to move before we had custody of our child is not fiscally smart.
Therefore as I stated earlier we are at a dead end until we move next year. Obviously that gives a lot more time to save up money and a smaller loan being taken out. But it's the excruciating pain of another year without a child in our lives. It's hard enough that we have given up the dream of our biological child but to have stomach another year without this child who has been my drive the last five months is just beyond depressing. It never gets easier every time we hit a "bump in the road". I question myself all the time about are we really supposed to be parents. I feel like this is the universes way of saying "hello take a hint already"!
So for now we will continue to save our money and I will keep our baby`s room door closed. I need something to distract me until February.
-Kate
I truly feel your pain, I'm on my own infertility journey right now, with one loss back in April.. I can't imagine the agony of having to wait and wait, even after having to give up on having a biological child... The waiting is the worst, in all of this.. I see that you're a little closer to February right now, hopefully with Christmas pretty much here, the rest of the time will move quickly.. It'll be worth the wait xoxo
ReplyDeleteThat's why we continue on such difficult journeys x
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